How much do you have?

How much TIME? How much MONEY? How much GAS?

I could go on and on. Everything we do is based on "how much". How many hours til I leave work? How many days of vacation do I get? How much money do I need to travel? How much gas do I have, do I need, can I afford? I've been asking these questions every year for the past 25 years. I've tent camped all across this country. I've eaten taco bell because it's cheap, to the point of not wanting to see a taco ever again. I've planned trips based on all these questions. But, I've never thought about how much time is left in my hour glass. Until the past year. Reality hit hard when I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I started looking at things differently. How much time do I have in the big picture? How do I live my best life? What does that even look like? What makes me tick? What makes me happy? I went back to work November 20, 2021, building myself back up, part time. December 26 I tested positive for Covid and missed another week of work. I didn't have a paycheck from August 27, until December 22, due to health insurance premiums I was paying, vacation time I took that I didn't earn so had to pay back. Then I got 1 partial paycheck and missed ANOTHER week of work. I finally got my 1st full paycheck January 12! I am fortunate to be married to a man who makes a good living doing something he really enjoys. But, I have bills because I like to do things I love - like travel, go to coffee houses, give great experiences to our kids, so I like to have an income. But, I am not passionate about my job. I am always counting the time - til I go in, til I go home, til I go on vacation. In 24 hours (Friday 5pm - Saturday 5pm) I found out a neighbor I have known for 13 years had a widow maker heart attack on Christmas Eve- and survived, my friend's husband has aggressive pancreatic cancer and it has spread to his liver, and one of my best friends from high school took a nap because she didn't feel well and died. How much time? To do the things I love? To make memories with my kids? To live a life that makes me smile? We don't know. We can count our money. We can count our gallons of gas. But we do not know how much time we have left. I can plan my vacations in a parameter of time off, but will I be around to take it? Are you doing what you love? Are you living a life that makes your heart smile? Are you the best version of yourself? I'm getting there. It is a process. But, it's definitely time to kick it into high gear. Be the best you, you can be. Live. Smile. Make your heart happy. Me? I'm going to be the best CrazyLady I can be. Be blessed and be a blessing.🌻