Cancer sucks. Yep, I have it, and I can do 1 of 2 things. I can allow it to consume me, wallow in self pity, can cry all day (yep, I can do that!), or I can take it one day at a time, rest when I need to, laugh at every opportunity, enjoy every moment, find the beauty all around me, and SHAKE MY TAIL FEATHERS! I choose option 2!
I met my Oncologist this week and loved her! UM Sylvester Cancer Center in Plantation. I met my Surgical Oncologist this week, UM Sylvester Cancer Center in Miami, and he is fantastic - along with his entire crew. I'm getting a PET scan on Thursday (not really excited about that), it is what it is, and God will ease my nerves and get me through it.
Can I just tell you? God is awesome. He has brought me peace, calm, happy, unexpected moments, laughs, and joy. My dear friend, Wayne, said to me the other day on the phone (cancer fighter for 10 years), he said, cancer helps you see and do things differently. If you want to do it, you're going to do it. If you want to talk with someone, you're going to call them. He also mentioned that I tend to live my life this way anyhow, but he is right. There is more clarity. Here's an example: my parents are coming Monday. I'm sitting here, typing away, Jimmy Buffet playing in the background, and my house could use more cleaning. But, I worked since 7am. I'm saving my energy to go out to dinner with Meghan and Wolf, THAT is more important than a perfect house for my parents. They are coming no matter what. They will love me no matter what. I REFUSE to stress this. I'm excited to see them, hug them, have my mom hold me, because do we ever really outgrow needing our mom at times like this?
You really need to learn not to stress the little stuff. Prioritize. God slows us down for reasons we don't always understand. This is my journey, I've never been fond of journaling, and I've never liked others reading my personal feelings, but maybe, just maybe, this can help someone else. Maybe it won't take cancer to get perspective, or to appreciate the little things, or to draw us closer to our Creator. My Pastor (Bob) asked me yesterday on the phone if I was really okay emotionally or if I was putting on a show for him. The truth is, the more answers I have, the more I can handle. Not having answers, not knowing, is more stressful and sometimes debilitating. I can work with answers. Taking those steps forward towards resolution makes a difference!
Now, Alaska, Dr. Merchant said I can wait until the 1st of August IF my PET scan comes back clean, otherwise, next couple weeks for surgery. SO, all my prayer warriors out there, get to praying for CLEAN PET scan!!!!! In the meantime, I'm claiming it and telling God to figure this out.
Be Blessed and Be A Blessing! Thanks for joining me on this adventure, and don't forget to SHAKE YOUR TAIL FEATHERS!