Or, should I say, God unfolding His plan, gradually. See, turns out I have other complications from my surgery. Red blood cell count is VERY low, iron is severely deficient, and my liver is not working well - my BFF's words were that she hadn't seen numbers that bad except in patients with Cirrhosis of the liver.
I probably have way too much access to medical information. I probably have way too much access to medical people. I believe it is necessary to be educated, and to take your education into your own hands!
Yesterday, I began iron infusions. I will get them 3 or 4 weeks, once a week. Blood panels will then be taken to see if my liver has been kick started, my iron has increased, and those red blood cells have started reproducing! Because they carry oxygen through the body, I get extremely short of breath. I get really bad leg cramps (even in the thighs), which is NO fun. And the nausea? Oof. Random. Unexpected. Awkward moments. The infusion yesterday was fine, until 2 hours later I got soooo nauseous. Fun times.
The good news is, I am positively confident that we will get over this hump. I am also positively confident that God's in control of all this, every bit. When I was sitting there crying because needles and I have not been getting along, and the poor nurse didn't even have a needle in her hand yet, it was God who comforted me - because, hello, still have to fly solo due to Covid.
Letting go of my fears, worries, and control is no easy task, but I have to trust that He's got this, He's got me in the palm of His hand, and all I can do is lean on Him in those moments.
A million times I ask why this? Why more? Why now? And I am reminded "why not me, now, more?"
This too will pass. I'm on the other side, but as with life, I'm taking the long way - the dirt road, to get where I'm supposed to be. God is good, all the time.
This CrazyLady is going on another weekend trip for Alex's State Competition with band, so wish me luck and stay tuned! Steve will be on a scout trip, so I'm driving to Ocala solo - positive vibes welcomed. I'm also going back to work, part time at first, starting Saturday morning. Those bills won't pay themselves!
Stay Crazy! Be well and be blessed!!